I started a new Yahoo! group for injured derby players:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/derbyhurts/

Labels: injuries, roller derby, santa cruz derby girls

Sitting on the sidelines has recently allotted me a lot of time to observe skater interaction. I love sports psychology, especially that of roller derby. SCDG has had the great gift of 25 new skaters. There are a lot of girls, lots of variance in skill and even more in attitude. This got me thinking.

When you are first starting out in derby you spend most of you time trying to figure out what the heck is going on and get your skill set down pat - during this time most girls are proving to themselves and the girls around them that they got what it takes to play this gnarly game.

This is a pivotal time in player development. A girl could come in with a good skill set and a shitty / cocky attitude and the reality is she is going to have a lot more to prove to the coaches and senior players then a girl with slightly less in skill and a good attitude. It's called coachability and it is a necessity for girls who hope to make it to be teamed skaters.

Why is this? Shouldn't skill conquer all? There are plenty of pro athletes who are good, know they are the shit and will tell anyone who listens.

It's my opinion from a skater perspective that I don't want to skate with someone who thinks it's all about them. Derby is a team sport - you have to play with your team. Everyone has something unique to offer on the track. Even the best jammers in the sport are crap if they don't play with their blockers and even the best blockers are useless if they are out there playing their own game, going for big hits and not thinking about strategy.

It's all about the T E A M. If you can't get along or respect, or get respect from the skaters around you - you might want to reevaluate how you are interacting with your sisterskaters.

Having confidence is different from being cocky. I'm cocky as shit to my opposing players - but I save that for games and use practice as a time for learning, not showing off. Allow me to clarify before I go any further. I treat my opponents with the same level of respect and sportswomenship that I expect to be treated with . . . but I do like mind-fuck them a little bit. practice is a time to connect with your teammates, ask questions and work your ass off.

Now that I'm on the sidelines and have to look at things more from a coaching perspective - I'm more likely to want to work with the girls who have smiles and questions verses attitude and SDS (Shit Don't Stink) Syndrome. I don't care what the skill set is, my time is valuable and I want to help those who will be playing with the team, not against it. That may sound kinda harsh, but it's the truth.

Most of our newbies are doing a stellar job. They are getting themselves out of their comfort zone, showing their balls and leaving their egos at the door. I heart you ladies! I wish I could be out there tearing it up with all you. For now you'll just have to listen to my bellowing voice from the bench.


Hugs & Bruises,

Raven

Labels: Fresh Meat, santa cruz derby girls

I really started thinking about what the next couple months look like for me and I'm thinking I probably won't be back to skating until January. Prove me wrong knee! Prove. Me. Wrong.

I've got another five weeks in the bionic brace and then a 70% chance of surgery. After thinking about it and talking to other people, I really think surgery is the best route. Whether they use cadaver parts in me is up for debate. The knee surgeon seemed to think this was the best route, where as the physical therapist said there was a higher failure rate - Come on guys, get it together! Don't tell me contradicting info please!!

So five weeks and then I find out if I need surgery. I'm sure I'm not just going to have surgery that week, so I'm gonna have to wait for surgery, and then I'm going to have to heal, build up strength and make my triumphant return. I'll be lucky if I can skate in January.

I started physical therapy this week. At first I was like this sucks, but now after a few days I'm really starting to like the exercises. It's nice to move around again and feel like I'm doing something with my knee. It's starting to pull me out of gimp mode. I'm thinking about swimming next week. I'm prone to chubbiness, so it's important I don't stay docile for too long or I'll spread out ;)

Not skating just sucks all around. I really want to get my hands dirty with coaching but I don't want to step on any toes and sorta feel like it's a hard transition for a skater to make. I'm trying to help where I can, but it's just not the same. I really want to prove that I can be a good coach - that means hard work on my end to make the coaching committee, the coaches and my team put trust and responsibility in my hands. I officially feel like an outsider having to prove myself all over again and that's just a crappy feeling.

It's not just the derby and my team that I miss. I miss just being able to skate. I love roller skating. There is nothing in the world that is better then rolling around on eight wheels. I had just gotten two new sets of wheels too - damn. At least I know they are waiting for me.

I guess all I can do is wait and be patient. I'll be here for my team in whatever capacity I can and just spend as much time as possible researching drills, plays and watching footage.

At least I have this wedding nonsense to keep me distracted.


Hugs and Bruises,

Raven

Labels: injuries, santa cruz derby girls

Well, it's official. Monday's MRI results showed a torn ACL and some other damaged knee-goods. So much for a sprain.

I meet with the Orthopedic Doctor tomorrow. I'm assuming one of two things will be discussed: 1 - surgry or 2 - bionic knee brace. Either way I'm out for a while.

I will accept my fate whatever it may be. I just keep thinking about what a great season I was having - all the progress I'd made and all the things I still wanted to try. I felt like I had just earned my pack's trust as a pivot and was feeling exceptionally comfortable on the track during game play. But I guess everyone gets injured at some point - this is a full contact sport after all.

I know I'll be back, but I can't help but letting the dark thought in my head that I may have peeked. That's it for me. I'll never reach the next level of game play. Even if I never get to play as Bombshell again at least I can say I did it, and I did it well.

When I really think about it I accomplished something amazing. I saw something on a TV show that sparked my interest. I tried out for derby by myself, I had no friends on the league or who even really knew what derby was. I worked my ass off. I set goals and I got good. How many people in the real world can say they did that? A little post-injury retrospect for ya.

I know an ACL injury is the most common sports-related injury and that through physical therapy, CrossFit and the determination, passion and love for derby that I have, Raven Von Kaos will be back . . . with vengeance.

Hugs & Bruises,

Raven

Labels: injuries, santa cruz derby girls

Well I'm not sure if it was the scream heard around the world, but it definitely shook the Seabright Palladium and will be ingrained in my memory for at least a couple months. I came really close to dislocating my knee last Thursday at practice. I went to take a lateral hit and my skate got locked up with someone else's - I moved and my skate did not. I literally felt my leg rotate in my knee socket and start to push out - It was THE worst pain I have ever felt in my life. It felt like my body was tearing apart from the inside out.

I went to see Dr. Roitz (the most fabulous sports doctor ever) the following morning and she said it was a sprain and taped me up. I'm so relieved, I thought for sure that I had really messed myself up this time. Torn a PCL or something career ending.

I've fallen on my knees and injured them a few times now - Last season it was an issue for me on an almost constant basis, one contusion after the other. This season I have really been focusing on cross training and I believe that it has helped me build up my knee strength and the muscles around my knee.

There was just something about the way it felt this time though that has been haunting me. When you fall directly on your knee, you pretty much know what you are in for - a couple days of soreness and stiffness. Maybe a nice scab if your pad slipped down during the fall (I have matching quarter-shaped scars from this on both my knees and I'm sorta proud of them for some reason).

Feeling my leg rotate in my knee socket was the grossest thing I have ever felt - it's really messing with my mind. Part of me is worried that this will be one of those injuries that follows me around for the next few years. Something I'm always gonna have to watch out for. I'm also worried that since I came this close to dislocating my knee this time, is it going to be easier for it to fully dislocate in the future? Meh!

I'm sure in a few days my knee-kankle will go back to looking normal and I'll regain full range of motion and all my fears will subside. Time just seems to be going by slowly and I kinda feel like I'm stuck in straight jacket watching the clock.

The idea of sitting and watching practice is torture - I think I would rather be waterboarded - but I have three games next month and I gotta keep that attendance up if I'm gonna play. Did I mention I break into tears every time I hobble past my skate bag and I keep having gnarly mood swings? Damn exercise endorphins . . .

We all play this sport knowing that anything and everything is a reality in the injury realm. I know that, I made my peace with it and I've accepted it- I just gotta get through the next week.

Aye - I guess the most appropriate quote to apply here is: "This too shall pass."

Hugs, Bruises and Knees-Kankles,

Raven

Labels: injuries, santa cruz derby girls

This has been an amazing year for Santa Cruz Derby Girls. We've become a nonprofit, have the day-to-day operations for the league pretty much down to a beautiful evolving science and the skaters seem generally happy and their skills are consistently improving. When I sit back and see the fruits of SO many people's over-the-top labor I can't help but smile.

On July 19th SCDG held open tryouts and almost 30 girls showed up. WOW. I think we now have 22 new skaters - which is amazing considering I think we only had about that to start. Our program just doubled and the best part about it it that we are totally ready to take these women and make derby girls of them.

Monday night all the newbies had their first practice. It was so crowded, but amazing to be surrounded by that much raw talent. Not one single girl dropped out of a drill or left - every girl pushed herself to a new level - it was great! True Santa Cruz spirit. It made me realize this is one, if not THE reason we all work so hard on the back-end - to ensure a solid, transparent structure to guarantee that SCDG has a nice long, healthy career as a league.

With the addition to our skaterific family is also the Santa Cruz Derby Groms - our Junior Derby League. The Groms will be making their debut on the 22nd during the halftime of the Hellcats v SVRG Killabites game (and oh what a game it will be).

The next generation is what it's all about - I work my ass off today to ensure girls who are my sister's age (15) will have a solid league to join when they are of age. I bust my ass every practice to lay the tracks for the skaters of tomorrow. I want every girl like me to finally have that "place" where they belong - Derby has given me more than I ever thought possible - I want other girls to feel the same joy :).

Hugs & Bruises,

Raven





Cute girl is my lil sister Leigh "Mini Kaos"

Labels: Keeping the dream alive, santa cruz derby girls

-Me finding my zen before the last game. Great pic by Kelly Castro

How do players get to that "special" place on the track during a game? You know what I mean . . . the place where your adrenalin amps you up, not makes you freeze. When you hit with vengeance and leave your opponents wincing in the pack as soon as the whistle blows.

I was the most timid player when I first started playing last year. I knew I had a wild animal in me ready to pounce, I just had no idea how to channel it when I needed to. My first few games where, for lack of a better word, terrifying. I moved like molasses and had about as much aggression as an elderly person eating jello. It was not until mid season last year that I had one game where it all came out. I blocked like mo-fo, screamed as I went for my pray and ended up earning my self a coaches choice badge for the game. Then, it (the aggression) went back into hiding - All I was left with was questions: How did I do that? Where did it go? How can I get back?

The rest of the season was pretty mediocre for me. I ended up banging my knee up pretty seriously and spent the remainder of the season petrified that I was going to seriously injure myself - Any derby player will agree that playing with an injury is a major distraction and can seriously take away from your game.

The off season came and I took it as my opportunity to research, train and amp up for a better year. I've talked about CrossFit before so I'll spare you - but it did help my game in more ways then I ever thought possible.

The last few games I've felt myself amping up during the game. It was not until the our game against Silicon Valley that the animal came out right away and has stayed. It's like I know how to provoke and use the adrenaline to my advantage now. Even looking at pictures from the last couple games, almost every shot of me is in motion with the most crazy look of determination on my face. Before I was all wide eyed and still, waiting for the action to come to me before I reacted.

I'm not sure what to attribute the change to. Before the last couple games I have listened to music that gets me super pumped and I visualize myself playing. It helps. I look at my teammates and think about all the stuff I want to do with them - plays, strategy, pack work.

Panda, one of my all time favorite players came and coached us one night last year. One thing she said kinda stuck with me - knowing you can do it. Being a little cocky. Sounds cheesy, but believing in yourself. Once I let that doubt in, especially during a game, it's going to feature into a cancer that completely enables every fear and weakness I have. So, fuck the fear.

I know what I can do and what I'm capable of. I know how to play with my teammates and believe in them. Why get scared? Why go through the agony of self-doubt?

Maybe the Little Engine the Could was on to something?

Hugs & Bruises,

Raven

Labels: santa cruz derby girls, training

With the upcoming home game on Saturday and two loses under our belt, I'm left thinking about teamwork. Our loss against Sonoma I could take, those girls were just better then us. They have been skating together longer and really have their coaching dialed in. It was the loss two weeks ago that I'm just not accepting - as a team we determined that although we have some spectacular athletes and derby players we just have not been connecting as a team lately.

Team. That was the strongest thing about the All-Stars last season. We came up against some sticky situations and (seemed like) we always came up on top. Team work is what won us the game against LADD at the beginning of this season - so where did the spark go? The connection, the bond? I still feel it - I know it's there, it just needs a little dusting off. I recently read an article by a sports psychologist suggesting that teamwork really is a psychological thing - it does need to be inspired.

I wish I could be that person who knew just what to say and just how to say it to inspire everyone. I have so many strong feelings of the importance of teamwork and trust - I totally trust each and every one of my teammates and hope they feel the same about me. But how do I verbalize it? Whenever I try it all just comes out so awkward sounding. I guess I'm better with the written word.

If I had the opportunity to speak to my team on Saturday without the influence of my awkwardness, self consciousness and female hormones, I guess I would say something like this:

Today is about us. Our team, our league and our accomplishments. I am nothing on the track without you. Together we will win this. Individually we can take them, but as a team can conquer them. We have one brain out there - we think as a unit, one big derby robot controlling the track. We hit off the line at the first whistle and don't stop hitting until the game is over. We play smart, touching and talking to each other.
Whether we win or loose, we play as a team, we play aggressive, we play clean, WE play derby.

Short and sweet. No one said inspiration had to be pages long ;)

The game is this Saturday at 6:30 @the SC Civic Center. We're playing the Jet City Pink Pistols. Their a WFTDA league that has yet to be ranked. Should be a good game.

Hugs and Bruises,

Raven

Labels: jet city rollergirls, santa cruz derby girls, team building